Our Transracial Adoption Experience-a stone of hope
A Picnic with Martin Luther King...
“Out of the mountain of despair, a stone of hope,” is the quote etched on the bottom of the massive Martin Luther King memorial in Washington D.C.
It was a gorgeous spring morning when Joel and I and our three kids decided to visit the memorial. Since the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, we thought it a perfect time to check out the newly revealed moment. With Annika toddling, we set out on a walk among the deep pinks and vibrant purple blooms on the path along the Potomac toward the towering stone statue of Martin Luther King. As our family meandered down the path, something struck me.
Nothing. No stares, no questions. Our adopted daughter, whose skin color is clearly a different shade than ours, did not turn heads.
When Joel and I began our adoption process, we were both on the same page that we were open to a child of any race. Once Annika was in our arms, there was not a single voice (or even quiet whisper) of racism among family and friends.
Our morning cherry-blossom walk the to Martin Luther King monument in the spring of 2012, proved to be more than just a tourist attraction. I felt a “lightening” that we've come a long way in our country. Standing beneath MLK’s monument, with President Obama at the helm, and a Smithsonian dedicated to African American history in DC, I felt hopeful. Hopeful that I may not have to have “the talk” with my daughter. Hopeful that all shades of skin are loved and respected in all communities in the United States.
Hopeful, yes. Blind to the undercurrents of racism-no. I acknowledge that there are still deep-seeded pockets and systems in our country that are stuck in an oppressive cycle of racism. This became crystal-clear after our one-year stint in Montgomery, Alabama (pre-adoption), where we witnessed wide spread discrimination. It wove its way through school systems and faith based organizations.
But, our experience as parents to a bi-racial child-thus far-is one in which we have yet to experience a negative comment or reaction. We have not had one overt mean statement. However, we have also made purposeful choices about where we live-that Annika is surrounded by people who look like her. There are many different shades of skin color in the school system we chose.
We are thankful to people, like Martin Luther King, who bravely worked and are still working to clear the cloud of discrimination and prejudice. As we literally stood at the feet of Dr. King’s monument, my heart was overflowing with love and appreciation for his actions and influence. His dedication to equal rights made our reality possible. Dr. King’s life tragically ended, leaving a country in despair, and we still mourn his loss. But his legacy stands as the hope for our society to eradicate racial prejudice and to simply live as equals. I parked Annika’s stroller beneath the quote, “Out of the Mountain of despair, a stone of hope,” and took a picture.
Our Transracial Adoption: A Gift of Connectivity...
I was moved by the dual applicability of that statement. See adoption, many times, stems from a mountain of despair-an ill-timed pregnancy, drug addiction, poverty, victimization. Yet, a child’s future secure in the arms of an adoptive family stands as a stone of hope forthat child, the adoptive family, and, ideally for the birth mom.
That afternoon we unpacked our picnic lunch under a cherry blossom tree, watched Annika, Kelsey and Alex explore the wonders of Spring. I watched Annika pick up a caterpillar. Alex and Kelsey spread her chubby fingers to allow the creature to crawl from left hand to right hand. They showed her how to gently place the caterpillar in the grass. Martin Luther King gazed down at us and, for an instant, I thought I saw him smile.
We are thankful the Lord has not only given us the gift of our biracial daughter, but also for leaders in our nation and around the world who have helped to make positive change, to lessen discrimination and prejudice in America.
The ultimate uniter is God. He speaks of becoming one in Jesus Christ in Galatians. Galatians 3:28 (NIV): “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” We have never felt more as one with our multi-cultural community, as with Annika in our family.
Scripture for the Road...
Galatians 3:28 (NIV)
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
-Alison England, LMSW Author of Best-Selling Book in Adoption-Tandem: A Devotional for Adopting with God in the Lead
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