Adoption Stress-looking up when you are head down in adoption

Adoption Stress is the Real Deal...

If you are adopting, then you are most likely thinking, planning, considering, going, pursuing, doubting, stressing and working all angles of the adoption process. You are head-down and on a mission.

Most adoptive parents I have met all are determined and have a resolve to adopt that is quite remarkable. Part of my motivation to remain head-down in the adoption process was to watch my steps so carefully that maybe I wouldn’t trip, or stumble into a pot-hole. But the problem with my hard-driving, head-down approach was that stumbles are inevitable, and so are unforeseen holes in the road. And in order to have the strength to recover from those set-backs, I needed to look up every once in a while.

Even now, 5 years post finalization, I still need the reminder to look up. The past few weeks I've been grumpy-at everything. Taking a line from Grumpy dwarf, "Fine time you picked to sneeze-Sneezy." Call it whatever you like...hormones (or lack of), exhaustion from publishing a book, being a mom to 2 teens and a non-stop preschooler...I'm irritated by most everyone about most everything. The other day I was with Annika at the mall when she tugged my sweater and said, "look up mama." I had been tying Annika’s shoe directly beside a gentleman selling balloons. I looked up and paused. What I saw completely changed my day. I sat down, plopped Annika on my lap and stared up. We admired the stunning colors and symmetry of the balloon bouquet above, as people dodged and weaved around us.

Sometimes we all need that tug and sweet reminder to look UP! 

But what does it mean to look up? Certainly it can be as easy as to literally look up in the sky, above you. The birds, the sky, a kite, stars, the universe…whatever is up there. It is a vastly different space than what is below your feet. It helps to change our perspective and get a new outlook.

Looking up to gain ground in your adoption...

But looking up is more than that. It must also include a shift in focus-a purposeful fixation up above to our Father in heaven.

  • When we look up to our Lord-he makes the impossible-possible.

  • When we look up to our Lord-he humbles us to a place where we fully understand that this child, this adoption is His child and His plan.

  • When we look up to our Lord-we realize that all the stress and anxiety that are housed in the pit of our stomach is a result of our lack of faith not His lack of promise.

Pause and look up today. Rejoice in those things are beyond our reach-like twinkling stars and tweeting Robins. Pause and look to our Lord. Pray and give thanks for the road your are traveling, even though it is a hard one. Request His guidance and feel His peace.

Scripture for the Road...

Philipians 4:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

-Alison England, LMSW    Author of Best-Selling Book in Adoption-Tandem: A Devotional for Adopting with God in the Lead

I would love to encourage you along your adoption path. click here to find Tandem on Facebook or follow me on Instagram @riding.tandem


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